FIFINONO – a blog about cultural exploration

Today we bring you the love story of Kate and Jeremy!

The Internet has become one of the most dominant channels of modern-day dating. Kate and Jeremy were automatically matched during her business trip to Japan. Jeremy was living in Osaka then and took Kate out for drinks. They stayed out all night and built a connection that soon developed into their undeniable love. Kate let Japan four days later, but their story was just beginning. After realizing the strong feelings for each other, Jeremy decided to move to Shenzhen, China where Kate lived. And now they are a happily married couple relocated to the US.

FIFINONO had an interview with these two lovebirds to learn how cultural difference impacts their lives.

What perceptions did you have of their culture? Did they live up to it?

Jeremy: I’m not sure I had many perceptions about China before I went there. I learned long ago not to let others perspectives and pop culture to influence the way I see others cultures if I can help it. I was even well aware that the food that I thought was Chinese wasn’t legit, though I had no idea what legit Chinese food was. Except Dim Sum, I knew good dim sum already, that lived up to it.

Have you had arguments or misunderstanding due to cultural differences?

Kate: We didn’t really have any arguments or misunderstanding due to cultural differences. Not that I can recall
Jeremy: I can’t say we’ve argued or misunderstood each other due to culture, at least not as far as I’m aware. We are really good at communicating freely and without judgement so I don’t think we often run into problems because we are comfortable to say if we are uncertain. Despite being from different cultures we have very, very similar world views. I do imagine that if we have kids, that’s where we may run into some differences of culture.

Is there anything cultural your partner does that you like/dislike?

Kate: One thing I wasn’t used to was buying everything in bulk. In Asia online shopping is so convenient and there’s a store at every corner of the street, so I only bought what I need (and who has all that storage room at home anyways?) In the States I could see why people shop the way they do and I’m starting to do the same…

Jeremy: Yeah, but it doesn’t bother me that much and I’ve called her out on it. I’ve noticed that way that many Chinese people eat is startling compared to what I’m used to. Spitting out bones, talking with their mouths full, chewing with their mouths open. When I sit at her family dinners I have to try really hard not to notice the food flying out of their mouths. She slips into that a little bit sometimes when it’s just the two of us but it’s nothing like the stuff that REALLY bothers me so I’ve gotten to accept a certain degree of it. Oh, and Chinese alternative medicine. This one drives me insane. I hate alternative medicines and China has quite a few of them. Though I suppose she doesn’t do these anymore since we aren’t in China.

ON FOOD:

What food does your partner eat a lot from their culture?

Kate: Food: when we were in Asia he missed good sandwiches and cheese.
Jeremy: Noodles and spicy things. She gets hangry noodle cravings if she doesn’t get her periodic ration of noodles.

What food do you love from your partner’s culture?

Kate: I am not very educated about cheese but now I start to appreciate sandwiches lol
Jeremy: I like most Chinese foods, especially anything spicy! I love spicy foods. The spicier the better. Sechzuan and Hunan foods are great for that. Mapudofu is a favorite of mine.

What food from your partner’s culture is weird to you?

Jeremy: I’m a pretty adventurous eater so I don’t think I find that many foods weird. I did see grilled bugs being sold at a street market in Changsha once though. Can’t say that’s “weird” I know many cultures eat bigs. Still never gonna try it though.

FINAL WORDS:

What is the best part of being in a cross-cultural relationship?

Kate: For me the best thing about being in an inter cultural relationship is we introduce our favorite movies, music, childhood activities etc etc to each other and there’s endless new things to explore just by getting to know the other person. And he will always challenge the way I think and I have to rethink some of the things I take for granted
Jeremy: The food.

Has this relationship changed you??

Kate: The relationship definitely made me better. I am happier and feel better about myself overall. It also changed my priorities in life a bit.
Jeremy: Absolutely, any long-term relationship changes you. Marriage doubly so I’d argue. But it’s not because she’s Chinese and I’m American or having to due with a mixed culture in my case, just the nature of our relationship changed me.

FIFINONO Notes:

FIFI used to be skeptical about fast-moving relationships, but Jeremy and Kate proved me wrong. With all the uncertainties in their life, such as location, career, etc., one thing that’s certain is their love and commitment to each other. FIFINONO was at their wedding and witnessed the unquestionable joy and happiness.

The cultural difference doesn’t seem to bring any conflicts to this happy couple, it is more an opportunity to keep learning about each other and grow together. Honest communication, openness to learning without judgments is the key.

FIFINONO Cultural Discussion:

Why do the Chinese love alternative medicines and Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM)?

Like Jeremy, many find these types of methods ineffective and even suspicious. Why do the Chinese love it? To FIFI, the Chinese generally have a negative attitude towards medicines. There’s a saying in Chinese “30% of every medicine is poison.” (FIFI sometimes still refused to take medicines when sick) So they look for something more natural. Many of us believe that everything in nature has some healing effect if you use it correctly. But today’s generation, western medicines are also widely applied especially amongst the young generation. TCM is often used as a supplement or preventative method.

What’s your view of TCM? Let us know!

Are you in a cross-cultural relationship? Would you like to share with us your stories, learnings, and tips? Would you like to have your couple sketching on our website?

Please email us at info@fifinono.com, we look forward to hearing from you!